Supporting First Responder Families During the Holidays

By: Megan Page, LMFTA

I have always loved the holiday season. With the celebration comes anticipation, excitement, and gatherings with family and friends. Not to mention the special foods that mainly come out during this time of year! There are plenty of activities to join and treats to enjoy!

As fun as the holidays can be, they can also be complicated in many ways. For First Responder families, holidays can be especially hard because they are often separated from their First Responder loved one. While their responder is working to keep the community safe, they are usually missing out on quality time with their spouse, children, extended family and/or good friends. First Responders and their families demonstrate a unique strength during this season when they can’t be together like the rest of the community and participating in all the events.

Here are a few things you should know about First Responder families as well as ways you can show up to honor and care for them during the holiday season.

First responder families show incredible flexibility with holiday schedules.

While rotating shifts might be a normal part of life for responder families, holidays can be especially difficult to balance. The actual day that holidays are celebrated may need to adjust to accommodate the responder’s schedule. Extended family may also need to adjust in order to all be together.

Children of First Responders may ask questions about the responsibilities of their parent and why their family celebration is on a different day unlike most others? This is normal. Parents can gently help their children understand the importance of the role of a First Responder. Also, remind them of their supporting role as a family unit is important and how special it is.

Families may want to deliver treats to the station or agency during working hours. They may also gather with other First Responder families who are in a similar situation to celebrate. Community makes a big difference especially during the holiday season.

While families might need to overcome distance and schedules, these families can also still make the most of the season! While they will miss their First Responder, they should do their best to participate in the festive activities and if possible, spend time with extended family. Flexibility in the holiday season could mean creating magical moments and capturing them for their loved ones who could not join to watch from work or later.

 Here are some seasonal magic-making examples:

• Building and decorating a gingerbread house.

• Finding holiday lights around town and competing to find the best spot!

• Decorating the house as a surprise for the parent on duty.

• Making a list of movies to watch when the family is all together.

The holiday season often brings increased need for First Responders.

When the family starts gathering, sometimes the shenanigans follow. How many times has the local fire department warned about an appropriate distance away from the house for a turkey to be fried? First Responders may be called for typical emergencies, but also those that might only take place at a family gathering. A good rule of thumb around the holidays is to take extra precautions to stay safe.

Holiday travel can increase the risk of emergency calls due to the amount of people heading towards different destinations. While some people may be enjoying their family traditions, First Responders may be helping their community through a crisis or tragedy. First Responders are very skilled in their resilience to walk into hard situations with the training and mental clarity required to help people in need. Those around them can offer acknowledgment and support in their job on the frontlines. A simple “I appreciate all you do to keep our community safe” or a card can boost morale and a feeling of community support.  

While families of First Responders are familiar with the difficulty of emergency calls, it is important to recognize that their family member is the one walking into difficult situations and providing care. The community can show up for these families by recognizing the emotional toll that the whole family might experience and that they are not alone in their worry. Checking-in with your responder neighbors is a great way to show kindness.

Small gestures of encouragement can go a long way for First Responder Families.

One misconception that people outside of First Responder families might have is that there is nothing they can do to help. The reality is that a simple word of encouragement, meal, or a gift of being present during the hard times goes a long way to let First Responder families know they can lean on others for support. 

While flexibility in traditions may be required, community can be a big part of how these families get through stressful times. Don’t underestimate the impact of a small gesture or simply a willingness to listen. First Responder families are still families that need villages to surround them in their day to day life. 

The holidays are often portrayed as a time for families to be together, but gathering can be a major part of their family unit’s sacrifice. The work of a First Responder is largely supported by their partner holding down the fort at home so that they can show up in emergencies or perhaps extended family if both parents are responders. Communities can reach out to these families and invite them into their celebrations, rather than assuming they are coping well. While communities need First Responders, the responder family needs their community too. When we take the time to include First Responder families in meaningful ways, we remind them that their sacrifices are seen. Even small acts of connection or service can ease the weight of the season and show these families they’re not carrying it alone.